Let it go

                                 Let it Go
        "Why aren't you fighting with him? He needs you in his final and hardest battle" whispered Dark Rukia and touched the hand that tenderly caressed her hair. Her deep blue eyes suddenly seemed very serious. Their constant sorrow remained,though.
        He dragged his hand from her saphire purple hair and his white fingers touched her face. "She is beautiful" Hichigo thought and silenced the voice in his head that kept on mumbling that love is a waste of time and he is just Kurosaki's puppet.
"Love is the best damn thing that ever happened to me" It is not that a part of him didn't remain emotionless and aloof, just this part made him crave the warmth of emotions more.
        "He never accepted my existence... He thinks I am something wrong and unnatural. He can use my powers but he can't use me. Not as long as he is afraid of me" he said and turned his head to the sky. This endless monotony of this upside world was tiring. He was fed up.
        A tear stumbled and fell from her eyelash to her porcelain cheek."That's not fair! Everyone thinks hallows are cold and murderous while the have no emotions inside... But for them emotions are so easy! Why do they think hallowa consume souls? To fill this void inside, this unbearable lacuna..." she whispered and her voice cracked. Grief felt like tiny shreds of broken glass deep within her heart. "But it is a feeling" she thought.
        "Hallows do have a bad rep ha?" he said and gave her a smile. The smiles he used to give her were sarcastic and swallow, trying to bellitle her. But now, with this smile, he tried to make her feel better. It was all for her.
        "But usually we try to BE bad... You know, when I first met you I enjoyed that twisted relationship we had and thought that Blackie was a baka for silently loving Rukia. But it wasn't enough... Nothing ever filled my hole like your love" he said and wrapped his arms around her fragile figure. She tucked her hand beneath his hair.
        "Sometimes we hesitate to admit that inside we all desire the same. But you have made it. You admitted how much alike you and Ichigo are. You found the strength he'll never find." she said
        "At least I succeeded in that. Being cursed to live like that I made it pretty damn good..." he said ad felt her fingertip touching his lips.
        "Never say that again. We are not cursed. We are just the other side of the coin. Life isn't easy on anyone. It loves kicking ass believe me." she said and her pale complexion brightened up with a smile. He loved her smile. He loved it since the first time he saw it. But back then it was the ironic smile he tried to make dissappear with insults she always managed to turn back skillfully. But inside him, he knew that behind the distorted passion and swallow antagonism he lived for her smile. And she was aware that behind that smile of irony and her desire to make him mad before kissing him and leaving with no words, she lived for him. It just took a while to fight their emotionless nature and discover the depths of the remaining feeling.
        "And right now Blackie is getting his ass kicked out there. Or kicking ass. Ya never know, he is unpredictable even for me." he said and looked at the thin line of the horizon. He couldn't help but feel bitterness. Ichigo was out there fighting the real battle, and, while Hichigo had accepted Blackie's existance, he refused to accept the Hallow within. He refused to try and embrace his other side. Which wasn't that evil after all.
        Hichigo wanted Ichigo to approve him. He wanted to fight this battle,he yearned for it so badly. But he had come to terms with it long ago. Him and Ichigo were never gonna be the same. Like a distorted yin and yan, with darkness being filled with light while light refusing to become balanced. But it was who they were, after all.
        Dark Rukia stared at the horizon. The horizon they shared together. The one they kept searching a new day in. Cause even in this caged underworld they had dreams. Weak, fragile and pale, desperately fighting their pessimistic, blank nature. Dreams like colorful rays of light that brightened their love.
        She softly shifted and kneeled facing him, her porcelain face a few inches from his face. "What's gonna happen with us?" she whispered and pressed her lips against his in a tender kiss. Her eyelashed sparkled with tiny diamond tears.
        "Once this fight is over, I will slowly fade and dissappear, all that will be left of me is a memory" he anweared, trying to keep his voice calm. Nobody can come to terms with death easily.
        "What... what if he wins?" a small flicker of hope was imminent in her voice. Tiny and weak like a terminal child. And he felt guilty that he had to give it the finishing shot.
        "Either he wins or loses I will begone. If he wins, he will lose his powers and once he loses what he can et from me he will trap me deeper down, in an eternal hell. If he loses, we will both vanish, withering and bleeding." he finished.
        "And I will be left alone, drained of life and love" Her yes darkened and her face turned to the ground. Little drops of her grief brightened the shadows of her face, reflecting the light.
        "You won't be alone, love. My memory will always linger in your heart" he whispered.
        "And.."
        "That's not enough! I am a hallow remember? I don't have a heart! Solely your presence keeps me from falling!" she shouted and balled her fists. Her tears noe dripped on her clothes and bare hands like silver rain.
        "And" he said intonating the word he had just spoken. She looked at him, anger and grief written on her face. Just a small light pf anticipation appear.
        "And, my fallen angel, if I survive, if he imprisons me inside, I will struggle to get out. I will fight to be with you." he said but a shadow hanged over his voice, He could see her enthusiastic reaction coming.
        "Then I''ll look for you sweetheart! Everywhere until my dying day. Until we reunite." she said feeling hopeful again. But it was too perfet to last.
        "Please, don't do that. Don't waste your days, don't let your life crawl within you, looking for a destroyed possibility!" he whispered his voice cracking and constantly changing tones. How the hell can you find strength in a moment like this?
        "What do you expect me to do?! Without you, I've got nothing left, I'll just return to my darkest path! It is scary there, I am afraid of my self! But searching for you will give me a reason to fight my darkness" she yelled, almost screamed while sobs shook her chest and troubled her breathing. A pain stabbed his chest too, at the sight of her crying. All he wanted was to comfort her in his arms and whisper that everything was gonna be alright. But he couldn't.
        "Searching for me will keep you up for a year maybe more, you are overly stubborn... But after a point, you will give up and eventually hate me, hate ou love, hate the light. Nobody can follow a path without ending." he said calmly and tried to wipe her tears. She slapped his hand away, remaining silent.
        After all, he was leading her to a dead-end. She hated dead-ends and her survival instict pushed her away from there. But now, it was inevitable. Fucking inevitable.
        "You selfish bastard. How the hell did you manage to end this up like this? What the hell do you expect me to after you screwing everything up?" her voice was bitter and cruel, she could visualize it rash and jagged. Once again she felt the emptiness of anger. "Great" she thought. "We haven't even been seperated yet and I am already awakening my demon".
        Before she managed to finish her not so wishful thought he pulled her closer and kissed her. Just like that. They always managed to exterminate each other's negativity that way, leaving behind just a shadow of sweet anger that was almost cute. This time it left a bittersweet sense of nostalgia.
        "Well, I expect you to find love again." he said much to her surpise.
        "Finding love in the deepest darkness once is a miracle and miracles never happen twice." she whispered. "No,no. It is not a second miracle. It the very same miracle,love,the very same emotion. A part of it will be your guardian angel from the past, dwelling in your heart, the love you will find will become your present protector. You'll never lose your guard. There is no need for another miracle." answeared he swiftly.
        "You love is one and only. Unique like every rose in a valley. You can't yearn me to replace you..." she weakly said. It hurted. She couldn't stand him belittling himself and, their love."To be honest, a part of me desires to be the only one. Desires you to grieve me and remain alone until eventually death will reunite us. But if I let that desire affect me I'll destroy what we have built. We can't be selfish. There must be more people out there capable of loving. Our love is precious not because it is unique but because it opened our eyes and created an everlasting bond, a barrer of hope. Like the first rose that bloomed and from it's stem more roses grew. And the first rose bloomes all anew with every other bud. You will only make our love stronger that way." he said. On the threshold of his existance he had disocvered the essence of love. No, he actually discovered it once he looked into her eyes. But now he had realised it. Now that he needed to realise that even if he vanished, it wasn't in vain.
        Dark Rukia didn't spoke a word ,it was unecessary. It was all crystal clear,tranquil, like a frozen lake of tears. His words unveiled what she already was already aware of, deep inside, where she never thought of looking for. She felt less lonely now, cause she knew such a true love, such an innovation scars you for life. And now, her mission was to spread this meaning. Loss would remain a wound, deep and aching, but their love would be a balsam. He would be there for her, healing what fate created to help others heal. Or to test their endurance, conviction and power.
        Deep love turns to silence as when two hearts are one there is nothing left to be told. No vows to be spoken, no promises to be held. Silence, sweet, tender and fulfilling. Through this silence a black butterfly swayed gently ,flying his unmeasurable grace.
        She felt a new wave of agony rushing through her body, She stretched her arms, attempted to touch the butterfly with her lean fingers. Her side that kept the magic of simple love, that suffered the loss and blamed fate, slowly withering, the part that grants immortality of magnanimous love to the world, wanted an answer.
        "Let it go" he whispered and touched her hand. "Awareness will change nothing, just the magic will be gone. Let us enjoy our last time together obliviously. Like innocent children's first love. Let it go."
        Their touching hands lowered. They stood there watching this beautiful creature cursed in darkness, this "hell butterfly" flying towards the horizon, released by the burden of the bad news she never delivered. Her beauty was pure. Their love was pure. How much alike they were. They had both transformed into farrers of light.
        Thoughts like that filled their minds until she left their sight. Afterwards, they chattered bout jovial nonsense, like they were never gona be apart. They enjoyed what "letting go" can offer. What  unawareness can offer. Not letting go what you love. Letting go of logic. Of need to control.
        Let it go
        it go
        go
        go....

        Like a butterfly
        Like a love
        Cause they are never gone...
                                                                                                                                                 TheRainGirl